I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Randomize
