I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
