why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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