whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
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