Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
