she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
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