That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
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