In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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