NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
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