You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
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