does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
