i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
I need to sanitize my soul.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize