I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
