I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Randomize
