I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize