lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
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