First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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