He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
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