Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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