her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
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