Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
If I die, sorry about rent.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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