Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
