Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
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