just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
oh god the rape fog is back!
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
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