I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Randomize
