i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
