he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
