I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Randomize
