I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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