whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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