She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
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