I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
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