I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
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