just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
When did angry sex become our thing?
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
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