You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
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