TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
