Where are you?
In a non slutty way
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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