Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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