it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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