wake up i wanna do it froggy style
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
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I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
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You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
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