Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
