We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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