Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I am midnight drunk by noon
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
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