I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
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