so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Randomize
