I feel great
I just peed on a car
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
