Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
well most of my day revolves around power hour
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
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