So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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