How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
