My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
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