people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
