You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
