Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
In the future we'll all be gay
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
