ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
