Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
