Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Randomize
