4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
