she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
