Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize