it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
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