Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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