Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
