I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
