This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
