sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
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