this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
